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the funniest thing about this is how little you know about catholicism
but please trust me when i say that's for the best
but please trust me when i say that's for the best
swinging across a moat on a rope to get to your bathroom sounds like the ideal living situation
this is gonna sound weird but the best thing i ever found was the dead body of a sixteenth century explorer
this is gonna sound weird but the best thing i ever found was the dead body of a sixteenth century explorer
careful, now I'm getting nostalgic for all the abandoned places I used to fuck around in as a kid
you are right about it being weird BUT
now I gotta know, so please tell me the rest of the story
you are right about it being weird BUT
now I gotta know, so please tell me the rest of the story
[ It's just a cushion and therefore Nate has no qualms about relinquishing his weapon of choice, though he becomes disadvantaged upon permitting Ian to take the instrument of softened agony.
It wasn't an attack so much as a desperate attempt to muffle mockery, no matter how much he genuinely likes the laughter. People never get to just be, here, but it's close enough when Ian is being a dumbass for the express purpose of making him feel less terrible.
He does feel less terrible. ]
Draw?
It wasn't an attack so much as a desperate attempt to muffle mockery, no matter how much he genuinely likes the laughter. People never get to just be, here, but it's close enough when Ian is being a dumbass for the express purpose of making him feel less terrible.
He does feel less terrible. ]
Draw?
[ He's glad to know it worked. Acting like a moron is not always the right call during moments recovering from duress, kind of a gamble, risk v. reward. Sometimes it's great, sometimes you fall flat on your face and you just look like a jerk.
He has to defend his honor with one deliberate swat to Nate's shoulder with the pillow — he's no pushover, okay — but then it's back to wry. ]
Draw. But only because I'm not sure you could keep up, and I don't wanna make you look bad.
He has to defend his honor with one deliberate swat to Nate's shoulder with the pillow — he's no pushover, okay — but then it's back to wry. ]
Draw. But only because I'm not sure you could keep up, and I don't wanna make you look bad.
count yourself lucky.
from what little i remember, it wasn't a big deal in our household either. only became more so being in an institution dedicated to that faith.
[ Nothing quite like wondering whether it was His will that your father dropped you off at the administrative wing of the orphanage and walked away. ]
from what little i remember, it wasn't a big deal in our household either. only became more so being in an institution dedicated to that faith.
[ Nothing quite like wondering whether it was His will that your father dropped you off at the administrative wing of the orphanage and walked away. ]
A lot of people would walk away from that with a really bitter view on religion. Doesn't seem like that's the case with you. I'm really not into all of it myself, but I think it's kind of nice you didn't. It's easy to let yourself get jaded and cynical.
[ That's...startlingly sincere in a way Nate wasn't exactly anticipating. ]
it wasn't religion's fault i was in an orphanage, and i had plenty of other stuff to get jaded and cynical about.
i don't know, man. faith is just a weird and interesting thing no matter what or who you attach it to. i have a hard time feeling bitter about something that was a part of my life once even if it's not a part of it anymore.
it wasn't religion's fault i was in an orphanage, and i had plenty of other stuff to get jaded and cynical about.
i don't know, man. faith is just a weird and interesting thing no matter what or who you attach it to. i have a hard time feeling bitter about something that was a part of my life once even if it's not a part of it anymore.
Thanks.
[He takes his drink and resists the urge to down the whole thing.]
Okay, sure. It'll be a good warmup.
[Before he utterly obliterates some unsuspecting people just trying to play poker. And might as well just get into it--]
Thanks for trying to help step in.
[He takes his drink and resists the urge to down the whole thing.]
Okay, sure. It'll be a good warmup.
[Before he utterly obliterates some unsuspecting people just trying to play poker. And might as well just get into it--]
Thanks for trying to help step in.
you really gotta stop sweet-talking me like this, ian, i'll get a big head
[ He will not. He is incapable of it. ]
and communion wafers. they taste like styrofoam, whose idea WAS that??
[ He will not. He is incapable of it. ]
and communion wafers. they taste like styrofoam, whose idea WAS that??
I'm just trying to get your guard down so I can deliver a killing blow later on when you're not expecting it
I don't know, I kinda like the idea of a mid-service snack. Couple of hymns, some weird chanting, somebody says Peace Be With You and then you're like And Also With You, and then you're like boy I could eat
And the little kid in the weird robe comes up and he's like
Well good news here's some crackers and some wine, power through it man, it's almost over
I don't know, I kinda like the idea of a mid-service snack. Couple of hymns, some weird chanting, somebody says Peace Be With You and then you're like And Also With You, and then you're like boy I could eat
And the little kid in the weird robe comes up and he's like
Well good news here's some crackers and some wine, power through it man, it's almost over
little redundant, isn't it?
[ He can joke about his mortality, it's fine, wind him up and watch him go. ]
so no one's told you about transubstantiation, huh
[ He can joke about his mortality, it's fine, wind him up and watch him go. ]
so no one's told you about transubstantiation, huh
See now that I know I'm going back in my mind trying to replay some shit because I'm 99% sure you've made some truly horrific jokes that I didn't get at the time. Jesus Christ, Nathan Francis Drake, that is like THE definition of gallows humor.
about what
about what
Edited 2020-11-13 06:33 (UTC)
i'll be here all week, making death jokes like there's no tomorrow ;)
[ It's a perfectly healthy coping mechanism. ]
transubstantiation is what happens during mass. all those prayers over the wafers and the wine, it's a consecration meant to transmute them into the body and blood of christ. and then you eat them. it's not so much a physical change as it is a mystical one.
[ It's a perfectly healthy coping mechanism. ]
transubstantiation is what happens during mass. all those prayers over the wafers and the wine, it's a consecration meant to transmute them into the body and blood of christ. and then you eat them. it's not so much a physical change as it is a mystical one.
wow
starting to wish I could join you
[ Kill him, these jokes are terrible. ]
so
there are a few things I'm taking away from this
1-jesus christ tastes like styrofoam and two buck chuck
2-catholics are fucking cannibals
3-somehow everybody's just fine with like the weirdest shit
4-does the amount of jesus you eat determine what level of heaven you get to? if you eat the full plate of jesus do you go to super heaven?
starting to wish I could join you
[ Kill him, these jokes are terrible. ]
so
there are a few things I'm taking away from this
1-jesus christ tastes like styrofoam and two buck chuck
2-catholics are fucking cannibals
3-somehow everybody's just fine with like the weirdest shit
4-does the amount of jesus you eat determine what level of heaven you get to? if you eat the full plate of jesus do you go to super heaven?
it's an exclusive club with 0 benefits, i don't know if you qualify.
1. yep
2. that's actually why a lot of romans were pretty intent on persecuting christians, they were convinced they were cannibals
3. 100%
4. no but in the middle ages people could buy indulgences from the church to reduce the punishments they'd suffer for their sins in purgatory and secure them a place in heaven, which was basically a huge scam
1. yep
2. that's actually why a lot of romans were pretty intent on persecuting christians, they were convinced they were cannibals
3. 100%
4. no but in the middle ages people could buy indulgences from the church to reduce the punishments they'd suffer for their sins in purgatory and secure them a place in heaven, which was basically a huge scam
I don't know, I feel like I should at least be like an intern or something, considering my planet's gonna be dead within the next couple of years.
2. I never thought I'd say this, but I agree with the romans
actually you know what, that's not true, I agree with the romans about a lot of things
4. Wow, I guess some things really don't change. There were an awful lot of poor people in Weaverville, but that megachurch on the highway sure was going strong.
2. I never thought I'd say this, but I agree with the romans
actually you know what, that's not true, I agree with the romans about a lot of things
4. Wow, I guess some things really don't change. There were an awful lot of poor people in Weaverville, but that megachurch on the highway sure was going strong.
[ Because this place is Hell and poker is a digital endeavor, Nate waves his finger next to his head and their screens flicker to life. He selects his favorite AI dealer - a mustachioed man that sort of looks like Victor Sullivan, if Nate squints - and the hologram begins to shuffle "cards." ]
sure. i'm sorry it wasn't sooner, i was weighing the usefulness of getting into a one-sided argument with a teenager.
sure. i'm sorry it wasn't sooner, i was weighing the usefulness of getting into a one-sided argument with a teenager.
[Lance tries to shift his attention to the game to play at least marginally well, though there's much less point when playing against Nate. Still, he had said it would be a good warmup, and it is if he actually uses it that way.
So he splits his attention, focusing on the game, and calls his moves verbally so it doesn't look like they're playing a suspiciously silent game over here.]
No, I get it, that's why I didn't respond at all. It was very clear he doesn't actually listen to anything I say, which is fine when he doesn't then try to use that against me. I don't quite understand what he's so annoyed with me about either; usually to get this level of vitriol I've done something a lot more egregious than just disagree on theories.
So he splits his attention, focusing on the game, and calls his moves verbally so it doesn't look like they're playing a suspiciously silent game over here.]
No, I get it, that's why I didn't respond at all. It was very clear he doesn't actually listen to anything I say, which is fine when he doesn't then try to use that against me. I don't quite understand what he's so annoyed with me about either; usually to get this level of vitriol I've done something a lot more egregious than just disagree on theories.
[It's been a rough day, all told, and Wade finds himself glad when the last patron leaves and he's able to close up for the night.
He meanders his way into the apartment that he and Nate (and Sam) share, taking a moment to let the weight of a hard day's work just briefly overtake him before crossing into the kitchen for a cold one. Pressing it against the back of his neck (it was a scorcher today, and all signs point to the heat only getting worse) Wade fishes out his cellphone from his pocket and fires off a text:]
home now
u here?
He meanders his way into the apartment that he and Nate (and Sam) share, taking a moment to let the weight of a hard day's work just briefly overtake him before crossing into the kitchen for a cold one. Pressing it against the back of his neck (it was a scorcher today, and all signs point to the heat only getting worse) Wade fishes out his cellphone from his pocket and fires off a text:]
home now
u here?
i've been told i'm extremely old fashioned so that tracks
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