[The guilt in Nate's voice sears him; cuts right through the anger and the hurt. Who is he to make a big deal about this anyway-- Wade Wilson, the fucking poet laureate of terrible choices and knee-jerk decisions? Hasn't he also tried to fill up the constant voids in his life with inane actions and hare-brained schemes? Next to most of the shit he pulled in his old life, joining the mob is pretty small potatoes. At least Nate didn't accidentally unleash a horde of Venom-infused dinosaurs on a major city or anything like that.
If Nate happens to look Wade's way he'll notice the man visibly wilt; the self-righteous fire in his eyes dimming to something more conciliatory and sympathetic. He stops his pacing around the room, coming over to sit down beside the other man.]
Okay. Okay. Maybe I flew off the handle a little bit there. I know you didn't do it on purpose-- you're not that type of guy.
[He takes a deep breath; lets it out in a sigh. One hand comes up to pinch the bridge of his nose again.]
I guess I was a little selfish too. I mean... we had a good thing going here for a while, y'know? At least, I thought we did. And then your brother shows up and all of a sudden... I dunno. I mean, I get it. He's been with you forever and you thought he was dead, and--
[Wade falls back against the couch, his hands covering his face. His voice is muffled.]
Fuck. I'm so bad at this. Just ignore me, it's fine. You don't gotta explain yourself.
[ We had a good thing going here, and then your brother shows up-
It's a statement that surprises him, because it's not one he ever anticipated hearing from someone as outwardly confident as Wade. Most of that is a show, he knows from their previous conversations, but Nate is starting to grasp - albeit slowly, badly - that it runs a lot deeper than he anticipated.
He's improved exponentially at this "understanding people" thing that Lance has, for years, exposed him to. His gut reaction is that he very suddenly wants to ask if Wade is somehow jealous, for reasons that baffle him, but it's the kind of question that would immediately put someone on the defensive. Nate opens his mouth, closes it again, thinks.
It might be good for all of them to get their own spaces, eventually. Not just rooms in a shared apartment. ]
...no, tell me. [ He stresses, expression open. ] Please. Because I'm kind of an idiot about this stuff most of the time and I can't know unless we talk. So let's talk.
[He wishes he'd never even opened his mouth. He wishes he'd just let things slide-- passed it off with a joke or an inappropriate comment the way he usually did. Hell of a time to break from tradition, all things considered, and for a moment, he struggles with the urge to fall back into that same old habit. Nobody wants to hear about the angst of an insecure mercenary, after all.
Most of all, he wishes Nate would just stop looking at him like that.]
I... [Wade sighs, pushes the palms of his hands against his eyes with a frustrated groan. Kind of ironic that the self-proclaimed Merc with a Mouth would struggle to find the proper words now, when it really mattered.]
I'm being a real asshole about this, I know. But it was you an' me for a while, y'know? And now it's you an' him. And don't get me wrong-- it's not that I don't mind him bein' here or anything. But I guess... I dunno. Maybe I always figured that if anyone was gonna go on some wild tears and get in trouble with some kinda weird off-world mafia... that it'd be us. That's kinda what burns me the most. I think. Um.
[There it is, out in the open, and Wade feels the heat flood to his face over how stupid it really sounds out loud. It suddenly occurs to him that he still has a full can of beer in his hand, and he puts it to his lips and takes a long pull from it. Anything to keep from seeing the expression on Nate's face right now-- incredulity or annoyance or whatever negative emotion he's sure is there.]
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If Nate happens to look Wade's way he'll notice the man visibly wilt; the self-righteous fire in his eyes dimming to something more conciliatory and sympathetic. He stops his pacing around the room, coming over to sit down beside the other man.]
Okay. Okay. Maybe I flew off the handle a little bit there. I know you didn't do it on purpose-- you're not that type of guy.
[He takes a deep breath; lets it out in a sigh. One hand comes up to pinch the bridge of his nose again.]
I guess I was a little selfish too. I mean... we had a good thing going here for a while, y'know? At least, I thought we did. And then your brother shows up and all of a sudden... I dunno. I mean, I get it. He's been with you forever and you thought he was dead, and--
[Wade falls back against the couch, his hands covering his face. His voice is muffled.]
Fuck. I'm so bad at this. Just ignore me, it's fine. You don't gotta explain yourself.
no subject
It's a statement that surprises him, because it's not one he ever anticipated hearing from someone as outwardly confident as Wade. Most of that is a show, he knows from their previous conversations, but Nate is starting to grasp - albeit slowly, badly - that it runs a lot deeper than he anticipated.
He's improved exponentially at this "understanding people" thing that Lance has, for years, exposed him to. His gut reaction is that he very suddenly wants to ask if Wade is somehow jealous, for reasons that baffle him, but it's the kind of question that would immediately put someone on the defensive. Nate opens his mouth, closes it again, thinks.
It might be good for all of them to get their own spaces, eventually. Not just rooms in a shared apartment. ]
...no, tell me. [ He stresses, expression open. ] Please. Because I'm kind of an idiot about this stuff most of the time and I can't know unless we talk. So let's talk.
no subject
Most of all, he wishes Nate would just stop looking at him like that.]
I... [Wade sighs, pushes the palms of his hands against his eyes with a frustrated groan. Kind of ironic that the self-proclaimed Merc with a Mouth would struggle to find the proper words now, when it really mattered.]
I'm being a real asshole about this, I know. But it was you an' me for a while, y'know? And now it's you an' him. And don't get me wrong-- it's not that I don't mind him bein' here or anything. But I guess... I dunno. Maybe I always figured that if anyone was gonna go on some wild tears and get in trouble with some kinda weird off-world mafia... that it'd be us. That's kinda what burns me the most. I think. Um.
[There it is, out in the open, and Wade feels the heat flood to his face over how stupid it really sounds out loud. It suddenly occurs to him that he still has a full can of beer in his hand, and he puts it to his lips and takes a long pull from it. Anything to keep from seeing the expression on Nate's face right now-- incredulity or annoyance or whatever negative emotion he's sure is there.]