[After he wakes up in New Amsterdam, in the apartment he hasn't been in in days--or a lifetime?--it takes some time before he's able to really mentally process that happened and put it together in a way that makes sense. It was an... Event, sort of, like had happened in Hadriel, and like he'd heard about happening here with Zerzura. That's all it was.
It's also easy enough to put together why he's now awake here, and so it's with trepidation that he reaches out to contact Nate as one of the first things he does; he wants an answer, but at the same time he doesn't.]
[ Lance doesn't get an answer for days, partly because it takes more time for Nate to wade through the desolation of another world, in another life, and partly because emerging from unconsciousness feels like it takes hours.
It's different from Hadriel. That felt like a dream, this felt like...waking up from cryostasis. Probably felt the same way for people who saw Henries' other world, too.
The memories are his, but they're not. The emotions are his and not, as well, with every requisite anchor tied to their chains. Reconciling them - the love, the loss, the fear - is about on par with reconciling what happened to him back home, and Nate knows he isn't in any shape to do so. ]
[The more time has gone on, and the more people who have returned, the more Lance thinks that eventually it'll probably be everyone. But he's still not sure, and he still isn't sure he wants that to be that case, because the way people have been returning has been consistent and Nate doesn't need that. Not with everything he's already dealing with.
But then again, wouldn't it be better than staying in the Aerie, in the life--if it can be called that--that he has there?
That's another thing Lance doesn't know, and it's something he can't do anything about. So he's kept his attention on the present, and what he can do in the growing chaos, and tried not to think about the messages he's sent out that are still waiting for replies.
But when he gets this one, he stops what he's doing immediately, diverting course to Nate's apartment. He isn't sure that's where Nate is, but if so, he wants to already be on his way as he texts back.]
Welcome back, despite the situation. Are you at your apartment?
[ He doesn't want the company. He doesn't want to talk, he just wants to work, because so many other things have fallen into place and confirmed his suspicions and if he's occupying his mind he doesn't have to think about how he lost it completely in the Aerie. ]
[He knows Nate probably doesn't want the company, but this is one of those times where Lance is going to ignore that, at least unless Nate is forceful about it. But he's the opposite, and so Lance sends back an affirmative, and shows up at his apartment soon after.
He carefully opens the door, slowly so as not to potentially startle Nate, voice quiet as he asks--]
[ His voice is hoarse, that just-woke-up sound of disuse, scratchy and warm as he waves his way into the living space. Nate is wearing jeans and a t-shirt, the latter of which has a truly shocking amount of crew collar. Turns out spending two decades being shown off like a piece of meat on the regular has had some effect.
He doesn't even wait for a return in salutations, just closes the distance between them and pulls Lance into an immediate, tight hug, relief and exhausting pouring off of him in waves. Having seen the death and having done nothing there's no greater, honest pleasure than knowing Lance died, but didn't.
[Lance has spent most of the last few days--or however long it's been?--keeping his distance from people, startled whenever someone moves too quickly or gets too close, and yet it's like in an instant that's been switched completely off; from Nate the hug is welcome, and something they both need, and after his usual moment of surprise he manages to return it with just as much feeling as Nate's putting into it.
They're both here, somehow. Somehow they both made it, again.
The empathy bond lights up--it's practically impossible to prevent it without effort, and neither of them are bothering--and Lance's emotions are artificially dimmed, repressed and mixed up, except for his own feeling of relief which he lets himself feel at its real strength. They're both alive, and they're back in this world, and as bad as it is it's not the Aerie. There's hope here.]
It's okay.
[He's not sure if he's reassuring himself or Nate more, but probably both. They can both use it.]
[ He squeezes a little too tightly, a little too long, because because there's a stupid, small part of him trying to make up for when he wasn't there to do exactly this. Lance's reception warms him, even with the muddled emotional cocktail, and Nate's state is equally fraught. Stronger than the confusion is the giddy relief of getting someone back that you thought you had lost. ]
I'm glad to see you too, dumbass.
[ The laugh he emits is choked and Nate relinquishes his hold with no small amount of reluctance, hands settled on Lance's shoulders as he finally steps back to give him some breathing room.
His assessment is quick, perfunctory, because they don't have the luxury of lingering and what he comes up with is a friendly, undeniably affectionate: ]
[Lance doesn't protest, trying to will some reassurance through the empathy bond while also allowing himself to feel some of Nate's relief along with his own. They don't get many moments to really feel that way.
When Nate does pull away and makes his comments, Lance gives a quiet laugh of his own before asking--]
What are you talking about?
[His tone is laden with clearly feigned innocence, which is not helped at all by the faintly amused smile on his face; he knows he looks terrible, pale and exhausted from spending most of the time since he returned running around nonstop, but he doesn't need to really try to downplay or hide it from Nate and so he doesn't bother. Otherwise, he's mostly back to how he normally looks in this world--from a hoodie to his ridiculous light up sneakers--aside from that a pair of stolen sunglasses are resting on top of his now very curly hair.
But as he does his own brief once-over of Nate, he notices a change immediately, and isn't sure whether or not to mention it. It doesn't take a psychologist to put together what might have prompted it, and he doesn't want to call Nate out on the issue just yet, so he decides to hold off for the moment.
Instead, more generally--]
Probably a loaded question, but... How are you doing? Do you know yet?
[Because he might not, and that's entirely understandable. Saying it's a lot to process is an incredible understatement.]
[ He ignores the look, knowing in his heart of hearts that whatever Lance takes note of is something that will inevitably come up in conversation later. He's wonderfully predictable like that, except for the part where Nate despises being a subject of intense scrutiny and they both know it.
He decides to cut him off at the pass with uncharacteristic bluntness, because the last few hours back have felt like some kind of insane fever dream. ]
I'm tired, and processing another life, and kind of annoyed that I keep getting recognized in the street.
[ He jerks his head at Lance's sunglasses knowingly, shoving his hands in his pockets. Trying not to think about the look on Lance's face when Dean Winchester stabbed him in the Quarry.
The way he'd tried to help. The way he always tries to help, always to his own detriment. ]
[The first part of that response is to be expected, at least aside from how forthcoming it is, but the rest of it prompts a brief grimace.]
Sorry. I was going to warn you about that.
[He hadn't thought Nate had been out anywhere yet, and he crosses his arms self-consciously as they move into this topic. It's bad enough for him just being recognized from his brief stint in the quarry, and everyone seeing him die live on television, but he can't imagine what it must be like for Nate. Nate's experiences were much more long standing, and much more... Exploitative, and invasive, and probably many other words.
It's something he definitely plans to try to talk to Nate about later, but not right now unless Nate brings it up himself. It's too much to put on him immediately after returning and having to deal with the shock of just readjusting, especially since there's the added factor of what must have happened for Nate to have returned.]
Unfortunately the sunglasses haven't been working too well. If you're going to go this route, you might want to try a hat too.
[And changing how he dresses, but Nate's already done that and so Lance will continue to not mention it for now.
He's quiet a moment, trying to decide what to even say, but then finally manages--]
That was a little um... Weirder than what happened in Hadriel.
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@lance.sweets
It's also easy enough to put together why he's now awake here, and so it's with trepidation that he reaches out to contact Nate as one of the first things he does; he wants an answer, but at the same time he doesn't.]
Nate, when you get this, let me know.
[Whenever that might be, if ever.]
no subject
It's different from Hadriel. That felt like a dream, this felt like...waking up from cryostasis. Probably felt the same way for people who saw Henries' other world, too.
The memories are his, but they're not. The emotions are his and not, as well, with every requisite anchor tied to their chains. Reconciling them - the love, the loss, the fear - is about on par with reconciling what happened to him back home, and Nate knows he isn't in any shape to do so. ]
roger.
no subject
But then again, wouldn't it be better than staying in the Aerie, in the life--if it can be called that--that he has there?
That's another thing Lance doesn't know, and it's something he can't do anything about. So he's kept his attention on the present, and what he can do in the growing chaos, and tried not to think about the messages he's sent out that are still waiting for replies.
But when he gets this one, he stops what he's doing immediately, diverting course to Nate's apartment. He isn't sure that's where Nate is, but if so, he wants to already be on his way as he texts back.]
Welcome back, despite the situation. Are you at your apartment?
no subject
yeah, feels like i got hit with a truck.
[ And because he knows Lance- ]
i'll leave the door open for you.
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He carefully opens the door, slowly so as not to potentially startle Nate, voice quiet as he asks--]
Nate?
no subject
[ His voice is hoarse, that just-woke-up sound of disuse, scratchy and warm as he waves his way into the living space. Nate is wearing jeans and a t-shirt, the latter of which has a truly shocking amount of crew collar. Turns out spending two decades being shown off like a piece of meat on the regular has had some effect.
He doesn't even wait for a return in salutations, just closes the distance between them and pulls Lance into an immediate, tight hug, relief and exhausting pouring off of him in waves. Having seen the death and having done nothing there's no greater, honest pleasure than knowing Lance died, but didn't.
It's better than not coming back at all. ]
no subject
They're both here, somehow. Somehow they both made it, again.
The empathy bond lights up--it's practically impossible to prevent it without effort, and neither of them are bothering--and Lance's emotions are artificially dimmed, repressed and mixed up, except for his own feeling of relief which he lets himself feel at its real strength. They're both alive, and they're back in this world, and as bad as it is it's not the Aerie. There's hope here.]
It's okay.
[He's not sure if he's reassuring himself or Nate more, but probably both. They can both use it.]
I'm um, really glad to see you.
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I'm glad to see you too, dumbass.
[ The laugh he emits is choked and Nate relinquishes his hold with no small amount of reluctance, hands settled on Lance's shoulders as he finally steps back to give him some breathing room.
His assessment is quick, perfunctory, because they don't have the luxury of lingering and what he comes up with is a friendly, undeniably affectionate: ]
You look like crap.
no subject
When Nate does pull away and makes his comments, Lance gives a quiet laugh of his own before asking--]
What are you talking about?
[His tone is laden with clearly feigned innocence, which is not helped at all by the faintly amused smile on his face; he knows he looks terrible, pale and exhausted from spending most of the time since he returned running around nonstop, but he doesn't need to really try to downplay or hide it from Nate and so he doesn't bother. Otherwise, he's mostly back to how he normally looks in this world--from a hoodie to his ridiculous light up sneakers--aside from that a pair of stolen sunglasses are resting on top of his now very curly hair.
But as he does his own brief once-over of Nate, he notices a change immediately, and isn't sure whether or not to mention it. It doesn't take a psychologist to put together what might have prompted it, and he doesn't want to call Nate out on the issue just yet, so he decides to hold off for the moment.
Instead, more generally--]
Probably a loaded question, but... How are you doing? Do you know yet?
[Because he might not, and that's entirely understandable. Saying it's a lot to process is an incredible understatement.]
no subject
He decides to cut him off at the pass with uncharacteristic bluntness, because the last few hours back have felt like some kind of insane fever dream. ]
I'm tired, and processing another life, and kind of annoyed that I keep getting recognized in the street.
[ He jerks his head at Lance's sunglasses knowingly, shoving his hands in his pockets. Trying not to think about the look on Lance's face when Dean Winchester stabbed him in the Quarry.
The way he'd tried to help. The way he always tries to help, always to his own detriment. ]
Good call on the shades.
no subject
Sorry. I was going to warn you about that.
[He hadn't thought Nate had been out anywhere yet, and he crosses his arms self-consciously as they move into this topic. It's bad enough for him just being recognized from his brief stint in the quarry, and everyone seeing him die live on television, but he can't imagine what it must be like for Nate. Nate's experiences were much more long standing, and much more... Exploitative, and invasive, and probably many other words.
It's something he definitely plans to try to talk to Nate about later, but not right now unless Nate brings it up himself. It's too much to put on him immediately after returning and having to deal with the shock of just readjusting, especially since there's the added factor of what must have happened for Nate to have returned.]
Unfortunately the sunglasses haven't been working too well. If you're going to go this route, you might want to try a hat too.
[And changing how he dresses, but Nate's already done that and so Lance will continue to not mention it for now.
He's quiet a moment, trying to decide what to even say, but then finally manages--]
That was a little um... Weirder than what happened in Hadriel.
[Putting it mildly.]