How dare you show you care. Frankly, man, I won't stand for it.
[ The absolute worst, most effortless impression of offense anyone has ever done. It isn't just humor that has him failing to commit, it's...
Well it's kind of flirting around a more serious sentiment. Makes it hard for him to decide exactly how he wants to handle this, to determine where the line falls between being too awkwardly sincere or too irreverently dismissive. Trying to pick and choose because too much of one might mean driving someone away, and he's fucking terrified of that. Alternatively, it might also mean opening himself up too much so that when something else drives them away it sucks harder than it already would have. It's probably easy for other people, he thinks, to react to this kind of thing. To just... have a normal goddamn conversation and be themselves authentically during moments of emotional intimacy without overthinking it.
He spends a couple of seconds cursing himself, frustrated, negotiating some kind of balance before he ultimately decides to just be blunt. ]
Seriously, I'm not... good at this. Any of it. Just-- so you know, no amount of gratitude-straining or... anything else is gonna make me excommunicate you. I'm-- I genuinely don't know how to react to it, it's baffling as fuck that you give enough of a shit to do it, so if it seems like I'm being... weird about it, it's just that. Not that I don't... like it. Hell, even saying all of this has me freaking myself out, so don't expect anything out of me aside from knock-knock jokes and catchy commercial jingles for like a week.
[ Holy shit, not the reaction he intended to garner at all. Maybe he overdid the sincerity, or the honesty, or something that tripped whatever warning bells Ian is currently hearing, and the only reason Nate can hear them too is because he's been in this exact position: pushed too far by someone's candor and apparent generosity in a way that made him feel like he couldn't possibly have done anything to deserve it. It always forced him into the awkward split between too serious and not serious enough, with no middle ground.
Jesus, did he become that person? Since when? ]
Hey, hey-
[ Quick to interject as soon as Ian starts losing a little steam Nate lifts his hands, placating, understanding. He should have given him an easier out. ]
I get it. Don't worry, I get it. Been there before. Consider me your repository for crappy jokes for the next week.
[ It's really, genuinely not a reflection on what kind of person Nate's become. It's just the kind of stupid Ian is when afforded even the mildest kind of evidence that he might be getting attached to someone, that it's like. Mutual. Before he got here he'd have long since erected some walls at the least, probably ghosted entirely at the worst.
But now he's on a bridge probably oversharing, or undersharing, honestly he's bouncing back and forth trying to determine which of the two it is. There's got to be an exact right numerical value, but for the damn life of him he can't estimate it.
The only thing really for it is to glide smoothly toward literally any other topic, thanks for the assist with that Nate. His reply is a dry: ]
Knock knock.
[ And only a single beat before he follows up. ]
Don't actually ask, I don't have anything to follow that up.
[ See an out, take it without question. Simpler still when someone shows you the way, hands you a piece of paper with a giant red X drawn over the spot. Nate used to follow the same roadmap, until it was worn and crinkled at the edges and he started to question whether or not the damn thing was out of date, because the routes started to change and he couldn't keep up anymore.
At some point, you just have to break down and ask for directions.
He sucks a sharp, disappointed breath in between his teeth at the non-starter, shaking his head and amicably leaning over to briefly bump shoulders. ]
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no subject
[ The absolute worst, most effortless impression of offense anyone has ever done. It isn't just humor that has him failing to commit, it's...
Well it's kind of flirting around a more serious sentiment. Makes it hard for him to decide exactly how he wants to handle this, to determine where the line falls between being too awkwardly sincere or too irreverently dismissive. Trying to pick and choose because too much of one might mean driving someone away, and he's fucking terrified of that. Alternatively, it might also mean opening himself up too much so that when something else drives them away it sucks harder than it already would have. It's probably easy for other people, he thinks, to react to this kind of thing. To just... have a normal goddamn conversation and be themselves authentically during moments of emotional intimacy without overthinking it.
He spends a couple of seconds cursing himself, frustrated, negotiating some kind of balance before he ultimately decides to just be blunt. ]
Seriously, I'm not... good at this. Any of it. Just-- so you know, no amount of gratitude-straining or... anything else is gonna make me excommunicate you. I'm-- I genuinely don't know how to react to it, it's baffling as fuck that you give enough of a shit to do it, so if it seems like I'm being... weird about it, it's just that. Not that I don't... like it. Hell, even saying all of this has me freaking myself out, so don't expect anything out of me aside from knock-knock jokes and catchy commercial jingles for like a week.
no subject
Jesus, did he become that person? Since when? ]
Hey, hey-
[ Quick to interject as soon as Ian starts losing a little steam Nate lifts his hands, placating, understanding. He should have given him an easier out. ]
I get it. Don't worry, I get it. Been there before. Consider me your repository for crappy jokes for the next week.
no subject
But now he's on a bridge probably oversharing, or undersharing, honestly he's bouncing back and forth trying to determine which of the two it is. There's got to be an exact right numerical value, but for the damn life of him he can't estimate it.
The only thing really for it is to glide smoothly toward literally any other topic, thanks for the assist with that Nate. His reply is a dry: ]
Knock knock.
[ And only a single beat before he follows up. ]
Don't actually ask, I don't have anything to follow that up.
[ Which is to say... thanks. ]
no subject
At some point, you just have to break down and ask for directions.
He sucks a sharp, disappointed breath in between his teeth at the non-starter, shaking his head and amicably leaning over to briefly bump shoulders. ]
We'll work on your stand-up.
[ You're welcome. ]