{ inbox } hadriel

[nonscriptum]

This is Nate, you know what to do. I'll get back to you.

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[fogey]

[ he's quiet for a long moment before answering, exhales visibly as he looks out on the water. it's pitch black, of course, ripples only visible from the moon- and starlight. he's seen water like this in the apocalypse, seen countless moonless nights with a darkness almost as profound as the one here in beacon. even batteries burned out, decayed, as the years passed, and it was fire or nothing after a while.

the sun still rose, every morning, which made the apocalypse very different from beacon. but this isn't unfamiliar. ]

Because, [ he says, turns and glances at nate briefly, eyes dropping to the ring, ] home isn't a place.

[ his scrutiny is short-lived; he'll take another long swig of the whiskey before putting it down between them. he's shown his own hand just as much as he's cut through nate's prevarication.

home isn't even a person, or a group of people; home is a time, just like everything else. the time you share with the people you love: that's home. and its echoes can ripple powerfully through the rest of your existence. ]

[nonscriptum]

[ Five cuts to the quick with all the deft precision expected of an assassin. He doesn't dance around subjects, has neither the time nor the patience for it, and Nate knew that going into this conversation, so he isn't particularly surprised to find that method turned on him with such direct impunity. Nate's head drops with his gaze, glancing down at his hand again, turning the ring with his other fingers. ]

I learned that pretty late.

[ It's not a lie. He lost Sam so early, lost his family even earlier, and the brothers Drake never committed to one place long enough to have a home. Never committed to emotional openness long enough to admit what that might feel like. What was it like, he wonders, growing up with that much family? Regardless of how well they knew each other, or how they were treated by their father, they were together. Five speaks through experience and Nate has to wonder what happened to him, to have gained it. Did he get lost, along the way?

He reaches for the bottle again, fiddling with the top before taking another heavy swig. ]

Y'know, the- the more I did what I did, finding these amazing places, seeing amazing things...I was always left feeling empty. I just kept chasing it, thinking it was gonna fill whatever hole was inside of me. Couldn't stop.

[ Nate settles the booze between them. ]

It's hard to get out. Harder to stay out.