Talking to myself hasn't gotten me anywhere. The thoughts just keep rattling around in my head, clogging up my memory. The damn thing's got enough to process without this, too.
[And it's all one big reminder of just how inhuman he is. No matter how real he feels some days, he's not. How many years has he been around, and he still struggles with this? How many times has he dealt with it, and just forgotten, like DiMA says?
His fingers tighten again, that rusted one not budging.]
Henry's gone, and no one else even knew I ended up with that weapon. Not even Rey. I guess I just... wanted someone else to know. To make sure I've got my head on straight, and that I'm doing the right thing.
[He doesn't like to question his own judgment, but there's a lot about himself he's questioning these days, and the precedent of Guard leadership set before him doesn't help.]
no subject
[And it's all one big reminder of just how inhuman he is. No matter how real he feels some days, he's not. How many years has he been around, and he still struggles with this? How many times has he dealt with it, and just forgotten, like DiMA says?
His fingers tighten again, that rusted one not budging.]
Henry's gone, and no one else even knew I ended up with that weapon. Not even Rey. I guess I just... wanted someone else to know. To make sure I've got my head on straight, and that I'm doing the right thing.
[He doesn't like to question his own judgment, but there's a lot about himself he's questioning these days, and the precedent of Guard leadership set before him doesn't help.]