[ There's a reason Nate doesn't talk about it with anyone, and that's the crux of it: he's afraid to ask those questions. If he goes back, will he end up alive? Will he wake up to nothing, or not wake up at all? Being naturally curious he's entertained these thoughts and then shied away from them, terrified of the conclusions he might draw about himself. Terrified of painting himself into a corner from which he can't escape.
There's that anxiety again, rearing its head and coursing from skin to skin and Nate recognizes it as the same emotion that passed through him in the rain, on a cliff, in a dream.
What Ian asks for - suggests - isn't a bad idea. It's the sort of exposure therapy that might help provide closure, in theory, and Nate has considered it himself without knowing who he would even decide to share it with. Why would anyone want to see that? To feel it?
The emotions wrapped up in his memory are inextricably entwined with his brother and because of that Nate, startled, blinks and shakes his head. ]
I ca- I can't. I appreciate the offer, I do, but I can't.
[ Selfish, maybe, to keep it a secret. Or he just isn't ready. Probably both.
Nate leans forward and places the bottle on the table before wrapping a beer-chilled hand around Ian's bare wrist, at the very least trying to convey his sincerity. ]
no subject
There's that anxiety again, rearing its head and coursing from skin to skin and Nate recognizes it as the same emotion that passed through him in the rain, on a cliff, in a dream.
What Ian asks for - suggests - isn't a bad idea. It's the sort of exposure therapy that might help provide closure, in theory, and Nate has considered it himself without knowing who he would even decide to share it with. Why would anyone want to see that? To feel it?
The emotions wrapped up in his memory are inextricably entwined with his brother and because of that Nate, startled, blinks and shakes his head. ]
I ca- I can't. I appreciate the offer, I do, but I can't.
[ Selfish, maybe, to keep it a secret. Or he just isn't ready. Probably both.
Nate leans forward and places the bottle on the table before wrapping a beer-chilled hand around Ian's bare wrist, at the very least trying to convey his sincerity. ]
I can't put you in that.