[ It's easier to let him think it was a mistake of Nate's own making, that he was monkeying around where he shouldn't have, that it's his own damn fault. Easier to take the blame than to admit the accidental nature of it and what led to that point, because even if he only shares my brother was trying to protect me from a gunshot and knocked me over the side, it still paints Sam in a negative light. Simpler still, not having to explain all the baggage that comes with it.
What Ian asks is almost comically funny.
Are you okay, like the first question Nate asked Stephen down in the bunker beneath Red Wings. Are you okay, as though it's an uncomplicated task to define and pin down all the parts where he is not. Nate's eyebrows climb toward his hairline while Ian finishes his thought and he considers the questions before replying. ]
It was right before I got here, so...six-ish months ago?
[ His gaze slants toward the beer in his hand, warming and untouched. Dissociating himself from the reality of his circumstances is the only way he can talk about it, he's realized, and Nate continues with a distance he doesn't normally wear in conversations with Ian. ]
Thought I was doing pretty good for a while there, then backslid some. Not being busy always kick-starts the highlight reel of my biggest mistakes, so I guess I get why ghosts have unfinished business. Lance said- [ He sucks in a sharp breath. ] Lance said there's a difference between accepting that you can't change the result, and accepting the result itself. I don't really know where I am.
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What Ian asks is almost comically funny.
Are you okay, like the first question Nate asked Stephen down in the bunker beneath Red Wings. Are you okay, as though it's an uncomplicated task to define and pin down all the parts where he is not. Nate's eyebrows climb toward his hairline while Ian finishes his thought and he considers the questions before replying. ]
It was right before I got here, so...six-ish months ago?
[ His gaze slants toward the beer in his hand, warming and untouched. Dissociating himself from the reality of his circumstances is the only way he can talk about it, he's realized, and Nate continues with a distance he doesn't normally wear in conversations with Ian. ]
Thought I was doing pretty good for a while there, then backslid some. Not being busy always kick-starts the highlight reel of my biggest mistakes, so I guess I get why ghosts have unfinished business. Lance said- [ He sucks in a sharp breath. ] Lance said there's a difference between accepting that you can't change the result, and accepting the result itself. I don't really know where I am.