[ There are casual, conversational overtones that make his voice seem light enough if you don't look too hard. Beneath it, something a little more serious. Something decidedly lacking.
An expensive habit considering their means, but he thinks she justified it by tacking on an extra hour to her already overloaded day. God knows she'd never had a problem doing a little extra work. That pretty much became how she defined herself, he thinks.
Years of that, he imagines it must've been easy to let herself finally be tired. ]
Found out she had lung cancer, and she just... kept on doin' it.
[ A little light, melodic roll to that last part.
He mentions it because he'd like to believe she might not have needed to go when she did — the older he gets the more unrealistic he knows it is. She must've known it too, she just didn't trouble him with mentioning it: how the fuck were they gonna afford doing anything about it? She may have had health insurance through her job, but it wasn't exactly anything to write home about. Cost started racking up. Stretching it out over a year, two years...
Once you define yourself by how much you work to take care of your son, becoming the thing that puts him in insurmountable debt wasn't even an option.
Of course, she never said any of that. She just said, honey if it's already got me, why stop now?
All kinds of things he could've unpacked years sooner in hindsight, except he never let himself think about it long enough. ]
no subject
[ There are casual, conversational overtones that make his voice seem light enough if you don't look too hard. Beneath it, something a little more serious. Something decidedly lacking.
An expensive habit considering their means, but he thinks she justified it by tacking on an extra hour to her already overloaded day. God knows she'd never had a problem doing a little extra work. That pretty much became how she defined herself, he thinks.
Years of that, he imagines it must've been easy to let herself finally be tired. ]
Found out she had lung cancer, and she just... kept on doin' it.
[ A little light, melodic roll to that last part.
He mentions it because he'd like to believe she might not have needed to go when she did — the older he gets the more unrealistic he knows it is. She must've known it too, she just didn't trouble him with mentioning it: how the fuck were they gonna afford doing anything about it? She may have had health insurance through her job, but it wasn't exactly anything to write home about. Cost started racking up. Stretching it out over a year, two years...
Once you define yourself by how much you work to take care of your son, becoming the thing that puts him in insurmountable debt wasn't even an option.
Of course, she never said any of that. She just said, honey if it's already got me, why stop now?
All kinds of things he could've unpacked years sooner in hindsight, except he never let himself think about it long enough. ]