nonscriptum: if you put a vegetable on there, so help me God (I'll have one meat lovers pizza please)
𝙽𝚊𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚗 𝙳𝚛𝚊𝚔𝚎 ([personal profile] nonscriptum) wrote2019-12-08 12:08 am
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@nathan.drake| ■ ▲ ◌ ▼

wittingly: (ʏᴏᴜ ᴅᴏ ᴍᴇ ᴡʀᴏɴɢ ɴᴏᴡ)

[personal profile] wittingly 2020-11-28 12:44 am (UTC)(link)
I'm sorry I can't live up to your impossible standards

pancakes or waffles
wittingly: (Yᴏᴜ'ʀᴇ sᴏ ғᴜᴄᴋɪɴ' sᴘᴇᴄɪᴀʟ)

[personal profile] wittingly 2020-11-28 12:55 am (UTC)(link)
thank you for posing such an interesting philosophical quandary, the likes of which may bring insight to my very essence

syrup pockets.
wittingly: (Tʜᴇ ᴍᴀɴ ɪɴ ᴛʜᴇ ᴄʀᴏᴡᴅ ᴡɪᴛʜ ᴛʜᴇ ᴍᴜʟᴛɪ)

[personal profile] wittingly 2020-11-28 04:18 am (UTC)(link)
maybe I am, and no you're not :)
look man
it's a matter of practicality and efficiency
all of the waffle toppings are contained within the confines of the waffle
waffles are good engineering
pancakes are chaos
you just slap shit on them and pray
wittingly: (ᴡᴇ ʙᴇʟᴏɴɢ ᴛᴏ ᴛʜᴇ ᴛʜᴜɴᴅᴇʀ)

[personal profile] wittingly 2020-11-28 04:39 am (UTC)(link)
what kind of maniac doesn't consider the structural integrity of the waffle when he partitions off a bite with his fork

there are literally gridlines to go by
wittingly: (I ᴅᴏɴ'ᴛ ᴡᴀɴᴛ ʏᴏᴜ)

[personal profile] wittingly 2020-11-28 04:46 am (UTC)(link)
I'm sorry you have imprecise hamfists
Some of the rest of us have finesse
wittingly: (Cᴏᴍᴇ ғʟᴀɪʟɪɴɢ ᴀʀᴏᴜɴᴅ)

[personal profile] wittingly 2020-11-28 04:50 am (UTC)(link)
Alright, alright, I'm sorry
imprecise non-dexterous regular fists

besides, there's a tactic
it's an easy artform to master
I'll teach you
wittingly: (Iғ ᴛʜᴇ sᴋʏ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ᴡᴇ ʟᴏᴏᴋ ᴜᴘᴏɴ)

[personal profile] wittingly 2020-11-28 05:04 am (UTC)(link)
I'll finesse you after dinner too
wittingly: (Wʜᴀᴛ ɪғ ᴀʟʟ ᴛʜᴇsᴇ ғᴀɴᴛᴀsɪᴇs)

[personal profile] wittingly 2020-11-28 05:13 am (UTC)(link)
be careful
no mark david chapmans
wittingly: (sᴏᴀᴋᴇᴅ ɪɴ ʙʟᴇᴀᴄʜ)

[personal profile] wittingly 2020-11-28 10:10 pm (UTC)(link)
[ He says it like it's a joke, but it's really not. He's been around for some of the horror stories -- at least, the ones Nate's told him. Obviously he can handle himself, that's part of what he does for a living, but that doesn't make Ian any less worried.

He's in the kitchen, standing at the stove with a spatula in hand and flour on his shirt, the remains of measuring cups and spoons adorning the counter beside him because the man's precise as hell about his cooking. Music is playing because it always is, because Ian is predictable. ]


We don't want any.

[ Called out wryly, without abandoning the eggs. Classic dad joke, and why he has that trait when he isn't nor has he ever had a dad is beyond anyone's comprehension. ]
wittingly: (Cᴏᴍᴇ ғʟᴀɪʟɪɴɢ ᴀʀᴏᴜɴᴅ)

[personal profile] wittingly 2020-11-29 02:11 am (UTC)(link)
[ You better believe his damn pancakes are perfectly circular. If he's going to engineer chaos, it's going to be the most controlled chaos you've ever seen.

Fortunately spatula duty only takes one hand, so the other's free to drop down and settle over Nate's arm at his waist. With it, the gentle settling back into the body behind him and the almost-turn of his head to catch a glance at him out of the corner of his eye. ]


Hi. Listen. Before you say anything... That was not my fault.

[ Followed by a pointed look over at a plate beside the stove.

Atrocities like that don't happen in waffle irons. ]
wittingly: (A sᴏᴀᴘ ɪᴍᴘʀᴇssɪᴏɴ ᴏғ ʜɪs ᴡɪғᴇ ᴡʜɪᴄʜ ʜᴇ)

[personal profile] wittingly 2020-11-29 02:51 am (UTC)(link)
I feel like I'm gonna step out of the shower at midnight sometime and see that thing looking at me through the mirror.

[ Dryly, but it's hard to be anything but warm and amused during moments like this. It's easy for other people to take shit like this for granted, probably. Easy not to appreciate it while it's happening. Funny how watching your partner voluntarily engage in a battle to the fucking death every so often helps keep things in perspective.

He nudges Nate's temple a little with his own. ]


How was work? What was work?

[ There's probably a schedule somewhere around there that marks down what dates are parties and what dates are photoshoots and what dates are filming and whatever the fuck else they have him doing, but with Sam at the wheel it feels less urgent to keep track of it day to day. ]
wittingly: (Oɴʟʏ ғᴏᴏʟs ʀᴜsʜ ɪɴ)

[personal profile] wittingly 2020-11-29 04:52 am (UTC)(link)
Speedos?

[ He guesses innocently, though there's no completely eradicating the humor. You have to laugh about these things or you go fucking insane. There's a nice long list of former victors turned celebs that have committed suicide. They always paint it as caused by something else — a broken heart, an addiction. Anything but the glamorous lifestyle everyone should be working themselves to the bone to attain. Celebrity status is one of the few things that makes the system tolerable enough to slog forever onward.

Absently, murmured before Nate can answer— ]


Check it out.

[ Spatula goes down in favor of gently gripping the handle of his pancake pan and.

Little wiggle, tiny shake.

Flip. ]


Ehh??

[ Good right?? Sorry, go on about your speedos. ]
wittingly: (Wʜᴀᴛ ɪғ ᴀʟʟ ᴛʜᴇsᴇ ғᴀɴᴛᴀsɪᴇs)

[personal profile] wittingly 2020-11-29 05:20 am (UTC)(link)
[ It's not like there's an imbalance in that need. It's a fucking joke to think Ian would have ever recovered after his quarry if it weren't for Nate. Not that they were immediately attached at the hip, but that first night they met could have set him down an entirely different path. The next six months of press coverage, tours, fuck the next year of working for the company and trying to reconcile that within himself...

It could've been worse. It would have been worse. ]


Sounds like a blast. Real riveting stuff.

[ Mused knowingly; boring the shit out of him is one of the lasting tortures the company has left at their disposal.

The pan goes back down, the burner goes off, and at some point in between he's started swaying without even realizing it. ]


I wonder if they're gonna include that when they get around to ghost-writing your autobiography.

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