[Saying it out loud by himself helps, but Nick's done enough noir-like monologues in his years as a detective to know it only does so much for getting his thoughts in order. Back home, he liked being able to talk to Ellie; in Hadriel, he usually talks to Rey or Oscar.
And when it's something he feels he can't tell either of them for whatever reason, he just bottles it up. It'd be enough to give a regular human a constant stress headache, and he's pretty sure he's been feeling the synthetic equivalent of those for a while now. Maybe that's one reason he has memory problems, he thinks. That's something else he has to look into, as well, something he also isn't sharing. The Guard should know their leader is faulty -- that he's not fit for this job even if he wanted it.
He has to stop himself from going down those mental tracks again. One thing at a time, he reiterates inwardly.]
You remember all that talk about the god killers at the meeting about Name?
[He doesn't even think too long on if he can trust Nate with this or not before he speaks again -- he knows well enough.]
no subject
And when it's something he feels he can't tell either of them for whatever reason, he just bottles it up. It'd be enough to give a regular human a constant stress headache, and he's pretty sure he's been feeling the synthetic equivalent of those for a while now. Maybe that's one reason he has memory problems, he thinks. That's something else he has to look into, as well, something he also isn't sharing. The Guard should know their leader is faulty -- that he's not fit for this job even if he wanted it.
He has to stop himself from going down those mental tracks again. One thing at a time, he reiterates inwardly.]
You remember all that talk about the god killers at the meeting about Name?
[He doesn't even think too long on if he can trust Nate with this or not before he speaks again -- he knows well enough.]
I ended up with one about a week later.